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Comcast’s New Moto: ” We’re Incompetent, We Know It, So Fuck You”

It’s been a really long time since I’ve written anything regarding a terrible customer service experience. In fact, I have to go back several years to dealings with Dell and Sprint  to remember a time when I took to these pages vent. I’d far prefer to be positive but sometimes you just cannot let something go…..

This bring us to the 4th of July holiday weekend and Comcast (CMCSA)

I rolled into Brewster around midnight Thursday getting ready for a relaxing weekend (2 days really as we had to get back early Sunday for the boys baseball game) but Comcast had other plans for me (cue evil laughter).

When I got there I realized the internet wasn’t working. Now, this in and of itself is not a big deal. When we aren’t down there for a while we often have to call when we get in and have a “refresh” signal sent to the modem. It takes all of 5 mins and is just the way it is.  But this time the refresh did not work. hmmmmm

So I then called to speak to a rep and the guy who answered, Jose was really nice. He worked on it from  his end and after about 5-10 min said he could not fix it and we had to get a tech sent out. He explained Friday was the 4th (I knew that) so the 1st appt. he had was from 8am-9am on Sat July 5th.  OK, still no big deal, this kind of stuff happens……

Now we get to the fun stuff……….

Friday night rolls around and  since we have no internet, Netflix ($NFLX) and Apple TV ($AAPL) are not working so I try to order a pay-perview movie for the kids. Problem, I get a error message on the screen that prompts me to call Comcast. So, I do. I am bolding the section below so that later I can just refer to it vs re-writing it

When I call the automated message then tells me “You have a service appt scheduled for Monday July 7th from 1-3pm”

What? I already mentioned we were leaving Sunday, right?

Now I have to speak to the first of what would be several reps/supervisors over the next couple hours….

“What is the phone number on the account?”  …I alway find this odd because when you call comcast, the automated machine that answers detects the number you are calling from and then asks you to confirm it……but I get to do it a half dozen more times because I guess they think I am bored.

“Name?”

“Last 4 of social security number”

“Service address”

Here is a hint to Comcast, when a customer calls you and recites the information you need without being asked for it? They’ve probably called you far too many times

I then explain to the rep what happened the previous night and that I was not happy my July 5th appt had been magically moved to July 7th

She then tries to get me to unplug the modem and go through the same dog and pony show I already did the night before. I politely decline (already did it) and ask to speak to a supervisor……she grudgingly agrees, puts me on hold and then cuts me off

So, I call back, repeat the bold section above:

Again, I explain situation from beginning, no, I won’t unplug to modem, please get me to a supervisor…..

Hold……after 20 min I hang up and call back…..

Repeat bold section above…now, I am a really patient guy, really patient, but right about now I’m sorta ready to stomp on kittens.

No, ma’am, I will not unplug the modem, please get me to a supervisor RIGHT NOW.

She puts me on hold…………………and then cuts me off

I am seething so I get up and grab a bag of oreos….because, well, don’t oreos make everyone happy?

I’m gonna try it one more time.

Repeat bold section above.….. only this time I get them to “take my number in case we get disconnected”

I actually get to a supervisor….. I am explaining the story when……we get disconnected in mid sentence.  No problem I say, I gave him my phone number in case this happens……he’ll call back for sure. So I wait……. 5min…………….10min…………..15min………… jesus, are we dating and I pissed him off? ………20min………… this fucker just isn’t going to call back…..

Don’t worry, I know it really is “him,  not me”.

REPEAT BOLD SECTION ABOVE

No, I won’t unplug the modem and I can’t tell you what I want to do with it because I’m pretty sure it is illegal….

Another supervisor. We chat for 1o min and he read my file and agrees, “wow, what a mess” ….. I cry with tears of validation.

He says. “Let me get someone out there tomorrow” … I wait with a joy of anticipation traditionally reserved for a small child on Christmas morning, until I hear these words…. “uh oh” …

He then tell me that due to the storm Friday “the system won’t let me enter any service calls”

We then chat for another 15 min as he enters extensive notes and tells me “call back tomorrow AM and they will be able to get someone out to you” … OK…. I only 1/2 believe him…..

He tells me when I call back to “ask to go directly to a supervisor”

I explain that is not possible, that none of the reps I spoke to would allow me to do that.  “That’s true” he says.. “we do coach our reps to do everything they can to solve the problem first”……

Now I’m confused…… I ask if they have a priority line I can call? “No”

I then explain that with my Directv ($DTV) when I call about a problem the phone asks me if I am calling about the same problem, if I am, everything gets expedited and I almost always go right to a supervisor….

“Yeah, that sounds like a good system, we don’t have that, you’ll just have to call back the regular way” he says

I start beating my head against the fridge while sobbing softly

7:30 am Sat, I call back….this time the voice prompt tells me “you have an appt July 15th from 1-3pm” …… WTF?!?!?!?!? Now my appt got moved again.

What am I in some type of “appt time out” for calling too many times?

REPEAT BOLD SECTION ABOVE

I get to a supervisor who was unwilling to do anything for me…….wholly unwilling. After being polite to every other rep (I always enter these issues with the reasoning the person on the phone did not create the problem, being nice might help them solve it), I unloaded on this guy and told him there was no conceivable way he could not get someone out to me at any point on Saturday. He said there was no way he could get a truck to my area…no way at all. I explain to him how small Brewster is and that any truck in town is no more than 10-15 min away. “No” he says. We went round and round for roughly 20min….

I explained that I wasn’t due down for another month and that I wanted a credit for that month. He then explained that Comcast does not issue credits until the bill is paid. So I said “you won’t give me a credit for service you KNOW I won’t have until after I pay for something you know you won’t/can’t deliver?” ….really? “Yes” he said

I’m thinking that can’t be legal…….

Finally I hung up ……… They win……I’ll regroup to fight another day

We go to the beach and the pool for the day and come back to the house to get ready for dinner……as we drive out, two houses down we see this

 

2014-07-05 18.50.15
For those who do not know, that is a COMCAST REPAIR TRUCK…….

This is a special kind of incompetence…..the folks at Comcast here make the DMV look like the highest functioning organization in the US.  Is Comcast telling me that their system does not allow for them to know there will be a truck ONE HOUSE AWAY from me on Sat and that they could not add the appointment? Seriously? I can’t believe that is true.

So, it either means the people there, especially the last supervisor I spoke to just don’t care or do not know how to work their own systems, OR Comcast systems don’t allow for this data to be seen which is an even larger problem because it means our high cable/internet bills are high because of the staggering waste and inefficiency within Comcast itself. Had anyone either bothered to look, or been able to look to see this truck was scheduled to be no more than 100ft from my house this all could have been avoided

Amazing……….

UPDATE:

While writing this, Comcast just called from 978-848-5999  to tell  me the rep scheduled to come to my house today to fix the internet won’t make it………… I explained that I never made an appt for today……..

You can’t make this up